Hoff and his kid son are in the aisle for personal products at a supermarket. Hoff junior points to the racks for condoms and ask his father what they are.
"These are condoms. They are for use in safe sex." Hoff replied calmly, just like when he corrected his collegemates the other evening that the highest score of GMAT was 800.
"Yeah, Daddy, I heard of them in sex education seminars at school. But, Daddy, why do condoms come in 3-packs, 5-packs, and 12-packs?"
"The 3-packs are for college students - they use one on Friday, one on Saturday, and one on Sunday."
"Who uses the 5 packs?"
"The 5-packs are for graduate students - they use two on Friday, two on Saturday, and one on Sunday."
"And the 12-packs?"
"Son," Hoff said with a sigh, "the 12-packs are for married men, one for January, two for Februray, three for March..., Son, can you count to twelve and name the rest of the months in a year for Daddy?"
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
As promised yesterday...
Hi, below is the original comments I wrote for Guillotine (the would-you-shut-up guy I unfortunately have to work with):
Guillotine has been very responsive but, unfortunately, he often comes back a bit prematurely. Many times he would reply with an overwhelmingly long bullet-list of facts, which may not be relevant to one's original question. This proves to be frustrating and makes one wonder if the question has been misunderstood.
To be fair, I am quite sure that Guillotine has good knowledge of all the systems and core applications and considerable efforts must have been exerted in creating those long lists of bullets. More to-the-point and client-oriented responses on his end will definitly let the company better harness his business/systems knowledge.
There is also room for improvement for Guillotine to be more discrete and timely as to disseminating vital information to co-working parties.
Of course, I changed the comments in the last minute, aware of the possibility that he may figure out who write those words. The final submission is as follows:
More to-the-point and client-oriented responses.
More discrete and timely as to disseminating vital information to co-working parties.
What an anticlimax! Well, outspoken as I am, I shall not burn the bridge behind me.
This evening home, I worked on my appeal to the IRD about my tax payable. After 2 hours of feverish tax code cramming and Excel cracking, I am able, if IRD accept my case, to bring down my tax payable by 40+%. That's the most productive use of my financial knowledge, second only to my mortgage payment modeling workbook (yeah, I do have a mortgage). I'll fax my forms to the authority and cross my fingers.
Today my immediate teammate (yeah, I do work in a teams) told me she's calling time on the firm and has started to look for a new job. What a bombshell! You don't tell people your plan to quit when your teammate is buying you coffee in the afternoon! I was too tired to react. I know she has been frustrated with her job (partly due to me as a teammate, but I already warned her in the interview). But still as she confided it to me , it was and still is a bit of a ... shock! As I walked back to my place this evening, after alighting the bus, I felt so overwhelmed - all the information and politics in the office. So much I wish I could quit too!
Guillotine has been very responsive but, unfortunately, he often comes back a bit prematurely. Many times he would reply with an overwhelmingly long bullet-list of facts, which may not be relevant to one's original question. This proves to be frustrating and makes one wonder if the question has been misunderstood.
To be fair, I am quite sure that Guillotine has good knowledge of all the systems and core applications and considerable efforts must have been exerted in creating those long lists of bullets. More to-the-point and client-oriented responses on his end will definitly let the company better harness his business/systems knowledge.
There is also room for improvement for Guillotine to be more discrete and timely as to disseminating vital information to co-working parties.
Of course, I changed the comments in the last minute, aware of the possibility that he may figure out who write those words. The final submission is as follows:
More to-the-point and client-oriented responses.
More discrete and timely as to disseminating vital information to co-working parties.
What an anticlimax! Well, outspoken as I am, I shall not burn the bridge behind me.
This evening home, I worked on my appeal to the IRD about my tax payable. After 2 hours of feverish tax code cramming and Excel cracking, I am able, if IRD accept my case, to bring down my tax payable by 40+%. That's the most productive use of my financial knowledge, second only to my mortgage payment modeling workbook (yeah, I do have a mortgage). I'll fax my forms to the authority and cross my fingers.
Today my immediate teammate (yeah, I do work in a teams) told me she's calling time on the firm and has started to look for a new job. What a bombshell! You don't tell people your plan to quit when your teammate is buying you coffee in the afternoon! I was too tired to react. I know she has been frustrated with her job (partly due to me as a teammate, but I already warned her in the interview). But still as she confided it to me , it was and still is a bit of a ... shock! As I walked back to my place this evening, after alighting the bus, I felt so overwhelmed - all the information and politics in the office. So much I wish I could quit too!
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
I'm a workaholic... today!
It was a lovely - sunny and cool. Not bad for Chung Yeung Festival. I followed the tradition of going somewhere high - if 17/F of a high riser in Central qualifies.
Yeah, I had to work today. That's bad. But worse was that the night before I left the office around 11.15 pm.
I had 2 tasks to complete. One is programing (yes, I program) and the other to fill out some stupid but compulsory survey, whose deadline, of course, is Oct 11, just like my programing assignment.
The programing was fun. By 5.30 or so, I was done and going forward the production of the set of reports will be like a breeze. Then I tackled the goddammed survey.
My company finally has adopted this peer review system in the performance review. The down side is I have to find time to fill the survey despite my already packed schedule. There's this guy with whom I have got really frustrated - I spent an amusing time to write his comments. I tried to be subtly sarcastic. I gave him a 4 overall rating (1 is excellent, 5 nightmare) and 5 in effective communication. I have a hardcopy of what I wrote and clicked (yeah, it's but yeah, I have to fill it in the office). I may post what I wrote for the pre-nightmare guy.He's a classic. The other day I had to literally tell him to shut up and let me continue my work after I had tried, in vain, signaling him I wanted to end the conversation. I usually begin with the lack of eye contact - pretending to focus on my monitors (yeah, I've got dual panel at work) and say ah-ha's. If that's not working, I would get up from my seat and go to the pantry to make myself some tea (from tea bags, of course). That guy, however, followed me all the way to the pantry and back, mumblingly repeating what he had been iterating since I pretentiously focused on my computer. 3 meters from my desk, I first politely told him the conversation was ending. He kept talking and I had to yell the message to him (I hate to do it but ain't got no choice).
I'll post my comments on him tomorrow.
Really tired today. Barely talked when I had dinner with my old folks at an MK restaurant. And I was like 40 minutes late. I was so exhausted that I could only managed a bit of small talk, which I normally hate and hence don't do. Food was spicy and big. Reasonably priced. But there's somethng strange about this aura of MK. Don't get me wrong - I used to hang out in MK when I was a teenager. But haven't frequented the area since college. MK is brighter at nights. What an oxymoron.
My MP3 player (from Samsung Electronics) fucked up. It automatically turns on and off after playing for 20 seconds or 2 minutes of music. I'll have to take it to the service center.
To end the day, I have the worst news - I have to pay 2+ months of my salaries for tax! I'll appeal....
Yeah, I had to work today. That's bad. But worse was that the night before I left the office around 11.15 pm.
I had 2 tasks to complete. One is programing (yes, I program) and the other to fill out some stupid but compulsory survey, whose deadline, of course, is Oct 11, just like my programing assignment.
The programing was fun. By 5.30 or so, I was done and going forward the production of the set of reports will be like a breeze. Then I tackled the goddammed survey.
My company finally has adopted this peer review system in the performance review. The down side is I have to find time to fill the survey despite my already packed schedule. There's this guy with whom I have got really frustrated - I spent an amusing time to write his comments. I tried to be subtly sarcastic. I gave him a 4 overall rating (1 is excellent, 5 nightmare) and 5 in effective communication. I have a hardcopy of what I wrote and clicked (yeah, it's but yeah, I have to fill it in the office). I may post what I wrote for the pre-nightmare guy.He's a classic. The other day I had to literally tell him to shut up and let me continue my work after I had tried, in vain, signaling him I wanted to end the conversation. I usually begin with the lack of eye contact - pretending to focus on my monitors (yeah, I've got dual panel at work) and say ah-ha's. If that's not working, I would get up from my seat and go to the pantry to make myself some tea (from tea bags, of course). That guy, however, followed me all the way to the pantry and back, mumblingly repeating what he had been iterating since I pretentiously focused on my computer. 3 meters from my desk, I first politely told him the conversation was ending. He kept talking and I had to yell the message to him (I hate to do it but ain't got no choice).
I'll post my comments on him tomorrow.
Really tired today. Barely talked when I had dinner with my old folks at an MK restaurant. And I was like 40 minutes late. I was so exhausted that I could only managed a bit of small talk, which I normally hate and hence don't do. Food was spicy and big. Reasonably priced. But there's somethng strange about this aura of MK. Don't get me wrong - I used to hang out in MK when I was a teenager. But haven't frequented the area since college. MK is brighter at nights. What an oxymoron.
My MP3 player (from Samsung Electronics) fucked up. It automatically turns on and off after playing for 20 seconds or 2 minutes of music. I'll have to take it to the service center.
To end the day, I have the worst news - I have to pay 2+ months of my salaries for tax! I'll appeal....
Sunday, October 09, 2005
Hello, there!
It's done, finally! This is where the eloquant stutterer BSes in his stuttering eloqance. It's intended to be self-indulging, narcissist, sarcastic, and last but not least, cynical. I hope this blog will be as intended.
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